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Depression
By Peace | January 22, 2007
Depression is very common. Almost anybody can develop the illness; it is certainly NOT a sign of weakness. Depression is also treatable.The word ‘depression’ causes much confusion. It is often used to describe when someone is feeling ‘low’, ‘miserable’, ‘in a mood’, or having ‘got out of bed on the wrong side’. However, doctors use the word in two different ways. They can use it to describe the symptom of a ‘low mood’, or to refer to a specific illness i.e. a ‘depressive illness’.
Depression is a serious medical illness; it’s not something that you have made up in your head. It’s more than just feeling “down in the dumps” or “blue” for a few days. It’s feeling “down” and “low” and “hopeless” for weeks at a time.
- Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
- Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
- Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
- Decreased energy, fatigue, being “slowed down”
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
- Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
- Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
- Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
- Restlessness, irritability
- Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain
Who gets depressed?
Depression is very common. Between 5 and 10 per cent of the population are suffering from the illness to some extent at any one time. Over a lifetime you have a 20 per cent, or one in five, chance of having an episode of depression. Women are twice as likely to get depression as men. Bipolar affective disorder is less common than depressive illness with a life-time risk of around one to two per cent. Men and women are equally affected.
Getting depression is NOT a sign of weakness. There are no particular ‘personality types’ that are more at risk than others. However, some risk factors have been identified, these include inherited (genetic) factors, such as having parents or grandparents who have suffered from depression and non-genetic factors such as the death of a parent when you were young.
I know of Ryan, Hungry Guy one day when he left a little comment on one of my blog, Spiritual Paradise. The first time I went to his site, I came to like it. I read his posts and tags. It was not possible for me to finish what he had written in one attempt. I went to his blog several times, and by chance, one day, just happen to be my depressed day, I discovered Moon, Tired & Uninspired.
What is depression and why people get depressed?
This is something which Moon wrote:
Why people get depressed..
1. Biological theory - insufficient levels of 3 neurotransmitters, or chemical messengers in the brain — serotonin, which helps regulate sleep and memory, norepinephrine, which affects alertness and energy levels, and dopamine, which helps control emotion and movement.
It’s hard for me to have deep sleep. I tend to wake up at times of the night where people are still sleeping.
2. Psychological theory - the bitter divorce of one’s parent.
When I was young, in the Primary school, my parents often quarrel. My father, like many guys out there, had extramarital affairs… not one time, but twice, thrice and so forth. My mother was sad, cried and attempted suicide. Life was hard on her. I can feel how she felt now, though I do not understand how she felt many years ago.
These women, some are people whom I do not know, and two are women whom I know. They are our relatives, to be exact, one is my aunt and the other my uncle’s wife. My aunt is my mother’s sister. She is younger than my mother and she has 3 children. My mother has a few brothers. The eldest brother which is older than my mum was dead many years ago, and I had never seen him before — only met him at the grave. Just after my mother is her younger brother. She is married and has two children. My parents and I used to go their house, this is because my mother loves to play Majong. During those times, before my mother knew about the affair between my father and my uncle’s wife, all are in good terms… and my father always enjoy going there. I was young and do not really know and care about these things. I would play with my cousins. But later on I discovered from my mum that indeed my father and my uncle’s wife had something fishy going on. Whenever we stepped into their house, the wife will welcome especially my father — pour drinks, etc… and they will go to the kitchen while the rest is playing Majong. Not aware of such things would actually happen, my mother played the majong, so did my uncle. Little did they know that the two of them were having affairs in secret, while the rest are not paying attention.
Money is what most women want. My mother discovered a lot of money was ‘gone’. My father behaved differently, his heart was with the other woman, and little things which mother did will irritate him.
Just before this affair was another one with my mother’s sister (My third aunt). My mother used to help out with my father. While she was working, my father had to look after me. I did not like it when I had to be alone with my father as I feel more close to my mother. I think that is during my kindergarten years. After I came back from school, I remember my aunt and my father both were together, several times already. But one day, my father brought her to our home. Then they gave me a fruit, a pear to eat and told me to sit in the living room to eat while they locked themselves in the room. Later on I told my mum about what happen. Of course, I did not know why they locked the room at that time.
My mother was of course angry and hurt to know of all these. Fights and quarrels went on. Guys are just not so sensible. When they have money, they will fool around, without thinking of the wife’s feelings. The children feel hurt, sad and insecure to see the parents quarrel and fight. The family is not in harmony. It was a broken home with no love. My mother, could be a good mother, but having a husband like that, could not do much, and she was depressed most of the time.
After one affair was discovered and then fights and quarrels follows…and then the relationship ends.. In time to come yet another affair started again, with a different person again. The same things repeated for many years. There were times where my father slapped my mother, things were threw on the floor, out of anger, knife was taken out to threaten death, my mother got hospitalised for attempting suicide. Social workers came to assist, but she declined for fear of causing shame and disgrace to my father. Words of divorce was mentioned and until now both my parents are still married.
3. Family dynamics theory - feelings were not openly expressed, where “family secrets” is the rule.
Am I afraid to die? Not i.. I died.. And there was peace and release.. What I fear is living(my therapist knows it godammit).. To look back over my life and grieve.. What could have been.. What should have been.. To look ahead and hope for what has been promised me.. I thought I was given a choice to feel pain or not to feel.. So I chose not to feel.. I didn’t know there was another choice.. A choice to feel love.. I never experienced feeling loved.. So by choosing not to feel.. I do not feel love. The wall that protects me from the pain also keep me from feeling the love that should pass through the wall and into others.. Breaking down the wall also allows all the pain.. What a price to pay for love.. Love that is only a hope is only a promise.. No one could give the promise I wanted.. I was afraid to hope, to want.. I didn’t hope.. I didn’t want.. I was safe. I couldn’t be hurt or betrayed. I wanted nothing. I hoped for nothing. Now, I’m not completely free from pain because these are holes in my way.. So do I tear down the wall or fix the wall? One allows me to be alive.. the other allows me to live and love or so they say.
The more hope you have, the more disappointed you are and the more depressed you will feel. After several cycles of hope, disappointment and depression, soon I lose hope. I just lead a life fulfilling my duties and responsibilities and do not hope for anything. It is much better not wishing and hoping and yearning for anything. Do not expect anything. Expect too much and you disappoint just as much.
I am stressful and depressed. My heart is aching. It is bleeding with hurt of injuries. Once, a deadly virus attacked by heart, left a deep wound and healed slowly with a scar now. Now again, this deadly virus had appeared, mutated in another form, attacking my heart, not inferior to first species of virus before. Scar left on the heart that had hardly healed and now another virus attacking it more strongly than ever. How long can my heart withstand this kind of attacks and pressure. Everyday I feel my heart is very heavy. I have no more strength. I want a relief. I want to rest. I hope I can forget all my problems when I sleep and never wake up one day. I really hope that. There were times where I pray this to God. But as you can see, it never fulfilled. I am still here, typing and lamenting. Yes, I agree with Moon, I am not afraid to die… but I am worried for my children. I will be leaving them behind. I need to do something for them first before I can really rest in peace. I have to make sure that their lives will be taken care of before I rest in peace. I have no regrets for all the decision I have made. It was a lesson learned from all these things and experiences that I get.
