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Miracles I SEE
By Peace | April 3, 2008
Standing at the window, dawn, daybreak, sunrise is what I had seen for the first time in my life. For the first time, I hear so many birds, see so many birds, hummingbirds, familiar yellowish black ones which I seen during childhood, swift, pigeons, conure and etc… Never had I seen dawn, dawn, my favourite book, by VC Andrew, Secrets of the morning…. real secrets I observed… Beauty in this world.
The sun, the eye of God, the eye I see in the sky. I am touched. Can you see the eye of God? The Sun, the clouds, such is the beauty of God, wonders and mystery everywhere.
Same morning, I saw Moon first, then after sometime (walking here and there, getting ready to go to school), at the bedside, Clara said, “I see the star“, I looked out of the window, and I really saw a star! First was the moon, and now really got the star. Both of us could see the star, one star today, this morning!
I woke up the sky was so dark. I cannot believe it. But it is, with the moon so curved, so bright.
Last night, I slept quite early. Strange things happened….
In the morning, after the children went to school, I came back with the ‘Sianz’(not motivated) attitude (not really sianz), but rather ‘don’t know what I should do’. I have so many things to do, so little time… Anyway, we tried. But once we started, we failed. He on his computer, I did the tidying, but soon I was tired, lost, confused and I was motionless. On the couch, I listened to music. My favourite songs Black and White, Save The Best for Last, etc etc,
It is all about making plans and working. I cannot imagine how I can work in this kind of environment, with no planning, but dreams. I am confused, I don’t know what are my dreams then.
The children came back from school, and they played their toys. Everyday, thinking about what food to eat, what to cook, where to buy, I am so sick of it. Everybody has different opinions, and I have to listen to the needs of everybody, but no one is willing to compromise or give in. I was being tear apart. Last night was the worst.
Ricsson came back from star programme. He wanted to buy a bag. His bag, which was just bought a month or so ago, was spoilt. He wanted to buy another bag for star programme. The children wanted to eat at Causeway Point, Richard wanted me to cook porridge. The children don’t like to eat porridge (only Clara likes to eat Porridge). I had already planned not to cook porridge at night for dinner. And now he is asking me to cook porridge for dinner.
The children were unhappy. He wanted to save money, he wanted to eat cheap food….. Ricsson said,”don’t eat lar, save money.” Clara and I kept quiet. I was totally drained. I did not know if I had done the right thing…
He always said,”don’t need to ask the children.” He always asked me, but when I said, he disagreed, yet he still asked me. I am so confused.
Children are people. Children need to be treated well. I am not happy with a restaurant and a shop at Causeway Point which does not treat CHILDREN as people, just like him. I am not pampering my kids, but respecting them. I can cook for them if I am in my right state. But I am incapable of cooking now, and even the good food, I have no appetite to eat.
Anyway, we decided to follow him then. We left the home at about 830pm. That is very late already, to go Woodlands North Plaza to eat Chicken Rice or Duck Rice. But that was their decision…
He was very furious. Left the home, walked in front of us, wearing black shirt. I walking in between the children, holding their hands. They are my support. I saw a woman in white walking past me as I approach Mercu there. No matter which path we took, the woman in white still come to ‘meet’ with me at Blk 818. At another block, I saw ‘funny’ sight. TWO CATS!!!! One beige plus brown one (the one I saw at Fushan garden, trapped in Red-lip palm tree, the day I was walking round Fushan Garden, like this picture below:
Topics: Family, Nature, Personal, home |
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