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Church Discipline
By Peace | February 7, 2010
Today I went to church. I had not gone to church for two weeks. The first week was because Isaac was sick. The second week was Ricsson and I sick. Richard was the first one to be sick and we all got it from him. I have not recovered yet. Today I can still feel my nasal canal being warm and still having cough occasionally. However, our whole family still went to church. Why? What’s the reason to go to church?
We go to church to listen to sermon, to listen to readings or to listen to Scriptures. These are listening to God’s words. I would not want to go to church if I cannot listen to anything in the church (like what it used to be several years ago — during the times of Fr John Khoo and Eugene Chong, where the sound system used to be so poor! I could not even hear what the priests were saying then. I stopped going to church then.) Today, I had found the answers of life, and I had found the answers to why going to church. Going to church is not a problem at all nowadays, BUT I do not know of the future…
It would not be a problem at all if I do not have any baby now. Having a baby now, I have problems now which many people may not understand…
Baby Room
First of all, let me tell you my concern of going to church ever since I have Isaac — especially during the first time/ the first month (when I had finished confinement and brought Isaac to the church for the first time.) I was scared that Isaac would make noise (cry) during the mass. So the first time I went to church, our family went to the baby room/ crying room. That very first time, Isaac was very well-behaved. He did not cry or make any noise at all throughout the mass in the room. However, I do not have peace in the room. I COULD NOT hear what the priest nor the lector was saying most of the time. Luckily there are words reflected on the screen so I could roughly figure out what was going on. The first time and I already don’t like it. No wonder there were several parents with little ones in the church (probably that is the reason why they do not want to use the baby room too). In the baby room, the sound that is being produced (as spoken by the lector or priest) was softer than what the babies and children produced. Inside the room, it is really CRYING room — children playing, crying, talking, etc etc.
I was told that there were no breastfeeding room in the church during those times. So in the beginning, I would use the room occasionally, breastfeeding…. (I am not the only one.) Never had I any good experience of going to that room. Never once.
If everytime I go to church and I have to enter this room, I might as well don’t go church. It makes no difference at all.
Nowadays, our family would choose the back row seats (pew) as we have pram, and if Isaac makes any loud noise (as in crying suddenly), we could make our way out quickly so as not to disturb people. So I had mentioned why I do not want to go to the baby room. And normally, Isaac did not cry loudly either in the church before. If he is tired already, I would try to walk him around at the back — while doing so, I am listening to the mass (multi-tasking: looking after Isaac and listening to the mass) — remember that is the main purpose of going to church.
People say that going to church is boring. How interesting can it be? Children of course find it boring, not to say toddler and even babies! If I can discipline my baby, I would have a good time being a mother. Babies just cannot sit still to listen to the mass. They do not even understand anything at this moment. So while listening to the mass, I have to make sure that Isaac is entertained, and not make much noise.
How much noise is really NOISE?
We can hear people coughing in the mass. We can hear children crying occasionally, and then parent has to quickly carry the baby or child out of the church. Some parent has to walk around with their toddler. Some children walking or standing on the seat. Still some children playing toys. Some children talking behind us, and sometimes that can be irritating if it is too loud or too much. (I never see any wardens came to these children’s parents to ask them to lower down their voice or stop talking. — These are those days when I had no baby yet, when I was sitting at the centre of the church. )
Convenience and Easy-Target
Sitting at the back row, what a easy target for the wardens to AIM at you. Come on, can I have peace? I am already having a hard time trying to CARE for my baby and TRYING hard to listen to the mass. I am so tired (sick: my nasal canal is warm, and I am still coughing), and yet, I am still trying to take care of everything…
Was listening to the mass, carrying for Isaac and then the warden walked toward me. She asked me to go baby room so as not to disturb the crowd. Like I say, how loud is the noise, what is your threshold? My cough is even louder than what came out from Isaac’s voice box. He is not crying, but merely ‘making some sound’ from his mouth (what you call that? Talking, blurting or what words to use I do not know. But that is so minor issue, not as though he is crying non-stop or yelling so loudly. By approaching me, you are disturbing me. I was interrupted as well. The last time such things happened was when I was using my camera (before I have Isaac). We are old enough to be able to think, and am I disturbing anyone of course I can tell also. But can anyone put in my shoes then?
Wardens’ Duties
Thank you so much for sacrificing your time to carry out your duties. Surely there are more important things you can do, like the baby room. Inside the room, it is basically ‘free to do anything’. Even tough it is a crying room, basic courtesy should still be maintained. If everyone just send crying kids/noisy kids into the room, what is the parent doing in the room? Why they go church in the first place? Just to receive Holy Communion?
No wardens go into the room to control anything. But Wardens standing all outside, prevent people from entering the church (before the readings and Gospel). So many wardens all standing UNITED, and what help can they do beside ‘traffic control’?
Baby Sitting
Do wardens listen to the mass I wonder. Like this warden who approached me, I do not know if she listen to the mass also. Her threshold for ‘noise’ must be very low. Those people sitting in the centre of the church would have more peace (no wardens walk towards the centre even though children are crying).
This warden might not have understand how it is like to have babies going to church with the parent. And especially when I have to look after him round the clock… Why don’t she say,”Little boy, is there anything auntie can do for you?” or something like that. Entertain the baby, help out a little, instead of diverting everything into the ‘rubbish room’ (Rojak room — breastfeeding room, baby changing room, altar boys changing room, guitar training room, bulletin paper/catholic news storeroom, etc) How big is the room anyway?
Christians
As Christians, as wardens, as disciples of Christ, we should all have a understanding of each other. We are not unreasonable people and we are not small kids who do not know what we are doing. I am sure there are more people who are similar to me. In doing so, they might not want to go to church anymore — for fear of disturbing the congregation and for having to go into the ‘rojak room’ everytime they go church. It is really a waste of time to be in the room for one hour, not gaining the full purpose of going church…
Looking after babies is not easy and I have no maid now. If I have a maid, she can help me in more ways and I can have more rest and do more things as well. But things are not like that! Jesus appeared to me and he has reasons for doing so, and I have not so much time to do so many things yet.
This is a big topic and I shall elaborate more again when I have more time.
Topics: Family, Personal, Singapore, View All, spiritual | 4 Comments »
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