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时光到流
By Peace | April 5, 2011
Le Peaseur - The Thinker (Sentosa, Resort World)
The land that I saw was Sentosa Island! Went Sentosa on 26 March 2011 (Saturday) because on 25 March 2011 (Friday) I had lost my handphone (FIRST TIME)…
This morning I had a special dream. I was back in a classroom like that of a kampong area — the blackboard was the olden day blackboard (with green writing surface), and all the tables and chairs were wooden. There were not many students. Soon, I was being asked go inside the room. It is something like the ‘confession room’ (like that of the church). There were 3 wooden rooms, each cubicle as narrow as the church’s confession room, were empty with no furniture at all. There were no window either, but just a door for people to enter and exit. A woman asked me to go in. It seemed safer to enter the room since it is going to be about ear injection. This woman, short-haired, used a syringe and started to dip into my right ear. She plunged the syringe and I could feel the pressure and all the liquid entering my ears (the eustachian tube). I tried to tilt my head, telling her that she did not aim properly. She did not listen, but just continued. I prayed that the ‘nurse’ would get it right.
After the right ear was finished, I could sense ‘water-clogging’ my right ear. I had to shake my head a few times to clear the water sensation that was being injected into my ears. It was going to be the left ear’s turn. However, there was a sudden change. It was break time! The woman showed me to the eating area. A big plate of fruits were carried over by a woman. The ‘nurse’ asked me to take 3 pieces of fruits being grouped on the tray. The fruits were all miniatures, very very small (smaller than a raisin size even). I took fancy of the cut jambo (water apple/rose apple). I got hold of 2 in my hands and another one to take later, as my hand cannot hold them all (surprisingly — in the dream it was so, but in reality, when you think of it, when it is so small, one hand can hold it all!)
During the break, I wondered about and chatted with people. I saw familiar faces. First, I saw my mother. She was in long curly hair, young and beautiful, with a smiling face. She was dressed in maroon coloured dress… something very familiar… the one she had worn when I had my first holy communion… I was so glad to meet her. We chatted. Next, it was someone whom I had asked about someone I had seen earlier. I asked this woman,”What is the name of the girl? I know her but I don’t know her name?” Next, the woman told me that the girl was known as S.E Ong… I had forgotten what is her name (living in my Boon Lay Neighbourhood and studying in the same secondary school as me… born in the year 1970… the eldest in the family…) I was not sure if the ‘nurse’ would come back for my left ear. I asked the woman if the woman would come. In the classroom, everyone was done and finished (the tasks). I was the only one who was left with the woman (‘nurse’). If she would come back to work on my left ear, she would have to work overtime (at her own expense)… I was wondering and pondering in the classroom; and suddenly I was awoken.
In one part of the dream, I was sitting in the classroom, crying with touched, with flashes of people’s faces flashing in my mind — these faces of people are my saviour — among them the face of Jesus.
The Thinker (Auguste Rodin 1840-1917)
I would not want to wake up. It is so nice to be in dreamland… Once I am out of dreamland, ‘struggles’ began yet again. Coming to 2 years, and all these time, there is no break, no rest… what’s more, am I just a slave?
On Sunday, I had to get myself ready to go to church. Standing in front of the mini mirror (not wearing spectacle), I heard sound coming from in front. It was the sound like the ‘flying of a plastic sheet”. After wearing spectacle, I looked out for the source of the sound, but could not find anything.
Woodlands Vibes: Walking to church, I was so surprised that we witnessed the funeral procession of an old woman in a white van… (that of the Taoism). This was the Fourth Week of Lent… and everyday, the news or TV is talking about elections… At home, the head of the household is always on the facebook and forums, joining in the elections gossips…
Sick of this sort of life, the kind of life that I seemed to be battling all alone with all the “BOCHAP” “people” around me. When everything seemed to be crushing, the forces came. I heard something dropped inside the toilet. Later, I discovered it was the Shiseido facial cleansing foam again. I had washed my face. Even when I was washing my face, I was not spared of any personal time. Isaac came inside the toilet. Everywhere I go, he would stick around like glue. WHY? It is a vicious cycle. No one would care for him. The person who donated the sperm is addicted to computer. Earning money is only excuse…. Who can I rely upon? I was so frustrated. I splashed water on my face, all around me. That would not give him any signal either. His eyes still pinned on the computer. Engrossed, HOOKED… POLITICS.
At Causeway Point, two mynas were fighting on the road. Richard pointed out to me. He said that 2 mynas were fighting and 2 more mynas were watching. The mynas fight like so real. It was so exciting to watch. It almost looked like going to be injured anytime, but again I was being fooled…. not the first time…. how easily fooled I was.
Oppression… having been through this, I would have known how my mother had lived her life… it is even more worst for her…
True love of God consists in carrying out God’s will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least, must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me,”My child, you please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your mental sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal, unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My daughter, the purer your love for Me will be.
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